Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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