I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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