she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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