I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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