How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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