sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
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I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
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You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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