I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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