Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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