Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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