just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize