I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize