You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
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I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
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I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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