What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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