You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
it was like eating out sand paper
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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