Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize