it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
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im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
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You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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