i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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