ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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