Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
PS: I just woke up from my shower
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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