i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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