For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
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I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
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he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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