Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize