dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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