You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize