I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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