Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
you had me at cake vodka
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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