After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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