i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize