I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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