Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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