What a fucking waste of an outfit
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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