I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
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also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
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You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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