I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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