if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize