I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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