so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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