4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize