You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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