I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
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Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
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shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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