living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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