Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize