She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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