I wannas sexs uuuuu
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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