Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
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how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize