hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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