I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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