Soap is not a condiment
Buhtt sex?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize