Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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