Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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