12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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